Women today, including your wife or girlfriend have not been taught that they need to cater to their man. Actually if she believes what the system has taught her, she believes the opposite. She thinks its your job to cater to make her unrealistic romantic fantasy’s come true.
If she doesn’t recognize your contribution to her and your family. You need to be like a politician and humbly remind her of the things that you have done. When a politician goes on a campaign tour in his speeches he always reminds his listeners of all the things he has accomplished while leadership.
If she doesn’t want to recognize everything that you have brought to the table start reminding her.